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A Sealing, A Ring Ceremony and a Reception?

Monday, August 25th, 2008

megan wrote:
I am the only LDS member in my family. My grooms family are all LDS, so my family wants a ceremony after the Temple. How is a good way to schedule in a temple sealing, ring ceremony (with a luncheon or something..) and a reception without wearing down our families an the wedding party. Not everyone will be invited to the ring ceremony, just those at the temple, and those who are close to us, who couldn’t attend…. any suggestions?

Hi Megan,
Because LDS weddings often include family and friends who aren’t members of the church or in good standing to enter the temple, the ring ceremony has become an acceptable way to reenact the wedding ceremony. However, the addition of the ring ceremony can make for a long day for friends, family and the couple.

I would strongly reccomend having the temple sealing in the morning or early afternoon, with the ring ceremony to immediately precede the reception or dinner that evening. Doing these two events back to back will save you on time and also may help you to save money on the reception center, as you can have the brief ceremony in the same place as the reception. If you have everyone stand, you may save money on having seating arranged for the evetn. This way you can also have only those attending the ring ceremony and reception arrive for a single block of time. Those attending the temple sealing and reception would be allowed a small break between the morning and evening events.

I am a big believer in making your day as easy as possible for your guests and family. The more relaxed and alert they are, the better your day will be remembered as a positive one.

Rebecca Hinman - UtahWeddings.com Consultant

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A Beach Wedding in Utah?

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Sydney wrote:
I have always wanted to have a beach wedding but while planning my dream wedding I have run into a few problems. My first problem is that I don’t know the best beach in Utah to have a wedding. My other problem is that I don’t know where to go for a beach permit. I would really appreciate your help.

Hi Sydney,
This is a very unique question, considering Utah isn’t known for its world-class beaches. Typically when brides speak of “dream wedding” and “beach”, one thinks of Hawaii or California.

I imagine any lake with sandy shores in Utah would work. I would definitely avoid the Great Salt Lake due to the uncontrollable smell. Believe it or not, Utah Lake has some really beautiful beaches.

An acquaintance of ours was also recently married on a remote beach at Lake Powell - definitely my recommendation if you want your wedding to fall within the dream wedding category. What could beat glassy blue waters, red and tan cliffs and the solitude of a hidden beach? If you go this route, you don’t necessarily need a permit. Rent a house boat, fill it with your closest family and friends and abscond to a hidden beach somewhere. Folding white chairs accented with sashes and beach torches would create a nice touch. After the wedding, the house boat could serve a secondary function as a floating reception center. A larger celebration could follow when you get back to civilization.

If you need a beach front location closer to Salt Lake City, you may want to check with the Utah Office of Tourism to see about permits and restrictions. Best of luck with everything.

Rebecca Hinman - UtahWeddings.com Consultant

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Who Gets the Tuxedos?

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

Bryan Jarrett wrote:
With two groomsmen, the father of the bride, my father, and my stepdad as potential tux candidates, who would you recommend that I get a tux for?

Hi Bryan,
If you are planning on having a line at your wedding, it is customary to rent tuxedos for every “line” participant. It would be odd to have a line of matching bridesmaids and mothers, but not groomsmen and fathers. It is however perfectly acceptable to have your groomsmen pay for their own tuxedos, just as bridesmaids often pay for their own dresses.

This might be an opportunity for you to dispense with the line concept and just rent a tux for your best man. This is also an opportunity to use discretion in placing financial burdens on your friends by having them as groomsmen. If you feel they can’t afford the tuxedo rentals, offer to pick up the tab or reconsider having so many people in the “wedding party”.

Rebecca Hinman - UtahWeddings.com Consultant

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Who Pays for What?!

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

Sadie wrote:
We are having two receptions. My fiance and I are from different towns. So I was wondering if it is my parents obligation to pay for the reception in his town? I know that I will only have about 10 people at that reception and all of my family will be at the reception in my home town which of course my family is paying for. I would love another opinion on this situation. It’s just a little sticky. Thank you!

Hi Sadie,
Having two receptions is a fantastic idea to accommodate guests in both locations. Unlike a decade ago, the lines are no longer rigidly drawn. The burden of paying for the wedding has shifted in recent years from the shoulders of the father of the bride, to include the groom’s family and other family members, i.e. aunts, uncles, etc. Also, with many couples marrying later in life and having money of their own, they are sharing in the expenses.
What ever your situation, there are no longer any hard and fast rules as to “Who Pays for What”, but a general guideline follows as to the traditional breakdown.

Bride or Bride’s Family :

Wedding ring for the groom

A wedding gift for the groom

Gifts for the bridal attendants

Accommodations for out-of-town attendants

Engagement party (optional)

Wedding Consultants Fee

Ceremony cost: location, music, rentals, and all related expenses

Entire cost of reception: food, beverage, entertainment, rental items, decorations, wedding cake

Bride’s wedding attire and accessories

A wedding gift for the couple.

Stationary: Wedding invitations, announcements, wedding programs, thank you notes and mailing costs

Bridesmaids’ bouquets

Transportation for bridal party from bride’s home to the site of ceremony

Bridesmaids’ luncheon

Photography (groom’s parents may pay for the pictures they would like)

Personal wedding attire

Floral arrangements for the ceremony and reception

Bouquets and corsages for bridesmaids and flower girls

Special item they may wish to purchase: toasting goblets, ring pillow, etc.

Groom and/or Groom’s Family:

The bride’s engagement and wedding rings

Engagement Party

A wedding gift for the bride

Gifts for the best man and ushers

Groom’s wedding attire

Corsages for all mothers and grandmothers

Boutonnieres for all groomsmen and fathers

Marriage license

The honeymoon expenses

Bachelor dinner (if not given by the best man, optional)

Rehearsal dinner party

Personal wedding attire

Bride’s bouquet, tossing bouquet and going away corsage

Officiant/Clergy’s fee

Travel and accommodations for groom’s family

Wedding gift for the bride and groom

Special item they may wish to purchase: toasting goblets, ring pillow, etc.

Any general expenses they may wish to contribute

The Attendants:

Wedding attire for themselves

Any travel expenses and accommodations

Wedding gift for bride and groom

Showers given by maid of honor or bridesmaids

Bachelor party given by best man or ushers

Bride & Groom:

Gifts of appreciation for parents or others who helped with your wedding

Expenses of items desired which have exceeded original budget allocations

I recommend you sit down with all those who will be contributing financially (family members) and have a heart to heart. Always keep in mind it is you and your fiancé’s wedding. Let those involved with contributing to the wedding know that your parents are more than happy to pay for the reception in town A, but that you would really appreciate their help with the costs of the reception in town B. Let them know how important it is to you both that you share this special time with friends and family in both locations, but it will take assistance with the cost.
This is a totally reasonable request and it’s an opportunity for those involved to share a most memorable event with all family members and close friends on both sides.

Best wishes - Christine Miller (Eventista and Owner of LiBella Wedding Planning & Design)

Christine Miller is the owner of LiBella Wedding Planning & Design. Christine is available to coordinate memorable and unique events for couples in Utah and across the USA. If you’re looking for someone to plan your event from beginning to end with a unique flair and style, contact Christine at Christine@LiBellaEvents.com or visit the site www.LiBellaEvents.com.

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Walking Down the Aisle Alone

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

Theresa wrote:
My finance and I are getting married next May. This is my second marriage and his first. My Dad passed away 4 years ago and there really isn’t anyone that I’m close to, to walk me down the aisle.

Do I have to have someone walk me down, or could I walk down alone? I appreciate any input you may have.

Hi Theresa,
The tradition of the father walking his daughter down the aisle has been around for years and signifies the father giving his daughter to another, as well as indicating to the groom that he has faith him and his daughter’s decision. In your situation this can’t happen exactly as tradition dictates, but can still be an uplifting and signification part of your ceremony.

Even though your father has passed, there must be someone in your life that has made an impact on you and can represent your father. Often times brothers, uncles or even a nephew or cousin can represent your father in the walk to the altar. If those options aren’t available, think outside of the box and have your mother walk hand-in-hand with you. She is obviously the closest connection you have to your father and your ceremony would only benefit from her filling those shoes.

If having someone in place of your father doesn’t feel right to you, walking down the aisle alone is perfectly acceptable and actually very common in non-secular ceremonies. The bride making her last few steps in life alone can be perceived as very significant and symbolic of the impending union of you and your fiance.

Rebecca Hinman - Event Coordinator

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The Kids Stay in the Wedding Pictures

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

Heidy wrote:
We have been together for three years and plan on getting married next May. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he has one and we have 1 together. He has adopted my children and he is pretty much the only father they have known and we would like do do something to include them in the ceremony.Do you have any suggestions? Also our family and friends have children and we would like to have a kid-friendly reception too. Do you have any suggestions on how to incorporate kids fun/area into the reception?

Hi Heidy,
Clearly the best way to incorporate the children into the wedding party is to include them in the actual ceremony. Give the children ring bearing or rose-petal scattering responsibilities and they will feel like they are center stage.

In terms of the reception, it is very common here in Utah to have children present. Because our culture is so family oriented, having children as part of the celebration has become commonplace for many couples. If finances aren’t an issue, why not make the reception a celebration of uniting two families and focus on the children. A circus theme with inflatable bouncy toys, a photo booth (or some equivalent), popcorn machine and mini hotdogs and hamburgers would make for a festive time that celebrates the children as well.

Another idea would be to arm the older children with rugged digital cameras and make them the unofficial photographers of the day. Because children tend to think creatively, you may come away with some of the most personal memories of your wedding.

At the very least, have someone assigned to keep the children happy. Often times a room or designated children’s area with a TV, a Disney movie and a table of goodies will keep the kids entertained for hours. I have also seen some weddings that have created a “kids only” buffet table full of finger foods and smaller portions. Perfect for the little ones.

Rebecca Hinman - Event Coordinator

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The Best Colors for February

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

Andie wrote:
I am just woundering what would be the best colors for a wedding in Febuary? I am not in love with just one color so I dont have my heart set on one thing. What do you think would look good?

Hi Andie,
It sounds like you are flexible and open to suggestions, which is a good thing! While deciding on your color scheme look for colors that reflect you and your fiancé’s style and personality. Try to select the location first, and then determine what colors would work since a predetermined color might clash with the décor of your venue.

To choose a color palette that blends nicely, consult the color wheel. You can pick one up at any craft store in the art section. When using the color wheel remember opposites are classic color choices. Red and green or yellow and violet are considered complementary colors.

Related color schemes (or accent colors) are colors next to each other like green, blue green, blue. Fiddling with shades and tints can give you a lot of different looks depending on how they are used. Usually a shade (darker) or tint (lighter) combinations look lovely together. Monochromatic is different tints and shades of the same color like, pale blue to navy with any in between on the scale. Also picking up paint strips or fabric swatches are very helpful in getting the exact color and are helpful to take to your florist and cake person.

If you go with an intense color, dark or primary (red or blue) use it as a focal color, and use accent colors to frame your main color or neutrals. Neutrals are white, gray, beige, metallic and black. Consider one color used sparingly, a metallic used lightly to add drama and another neutral or accent color used more abundantly. An example of this would be sapphire blue, silver and an abundance of a tint of blue/lavender if you want to play up the winter snow. Any rich jewel tone will look fantastic for a winter wedding!

Here are a few popular color combinations that work well together:

Turquoise and Red
Purple in different shades
Navy Blue and Silver
Chocolate Brown and Tifffany Blue or Robin Egg Blue
Black and White with Lime accent

Once you’ve chosen your location and colors, you can always get a second opinion from your florist, wedding planner and/or decorator.
- Christine Miller (of LiBella Wedding Planning & Design)

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The Second Marriage Situation

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Deena wrote:
I have been married before and have children from my previous marriage. My fiance has never been married before and has no children. He wants a traditional reception. What is ‘proper’ for me where I have been married before? In terms of dress? Would I address anything on the invitations I send to people who came to my first wedding? I don’t want them to feel like they have to buy me a gift again just because I am sending them an invitation.

Hi Cory,
You aren’t alone in asking this question. Because over half of all couples end up divorced, a second marriage and the questions of what is appropriate for the events are very common. Honestly, this question comes down to who is paying for the marriage. If you and your fiance are flipping the bill, then by all means have a party! However, if you are expecting mom and dad to pay for the second marriage, then you are out of luck. They have no ethical obligation to pay for another event, as they may have invested heavily on the first marriage.

In terms of dress, that is entirely up to you. If your fiance wants the traditional attire, then by all means wear the traditional dress. However, most second marriages tend to have a more casual approach in terms of attire.

In regards to the gift question, you may want to include a “no gifts” phrase in your invitation. It is not appropriate to assume that guests of the first marriage should buy gifts for the second one. Though this may be a challenge for your fiance, it is the considerate route. In the event he will not budge on wanting gifts, be prepared to print out two separate invitations - one for new guests and the other for “returning” guests.

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A Ceremony Minus The Religion

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Cory wrote:
We are a couple that wants a nice ceremony MINUS the religious undertones thatseem to come along with most officiants we have witnessed. Does anyone have any suggestions for a judge or non denominational minister that can perform an elegant ceremony and leave out the “time and all eternity?”

Hi Cory,
This is a great question, considering the religious climate in Utah. Most of the ceremonies that take place in the state include strong religious themes and references, and have structured ceremonies that include specific religious terminology. However, you will be hard pressed to find the phrase, “time and all eternity” used in many non-LDS ceremonies.

Your best direction would be to contact a number of officiants and ministers in the state, and be very specific about the needs of your ceremony. Non-denominational officiants generally have a number of pre-scripted ceremonies that can be modified to fit the specific needs of you and your fiance. If they don’t have what you are looking for, they should be upfront with you about not being able to perform your ceremony. Make a list of questions and requirements prior to calling and be very up front about your thoughts. A great place to start would be with the officiants and ministers on our site.

Keep in mind also that the ceremony is for you. If your family has reservations or objections to your approach, be sensitive but straightforward in telling them of your desires. This is a one-shot deal (fingers crossed), so make it as relative to you and your future spouse’s belief system as possible.

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Sage Green and What?!

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Rae Rae wrote:
I need help trying to find a color scheme. what colors go good with a sage green and dark brown?

Hi Rae Rae,
Earth tones and especially sage green have been popular color schemes in the recent months but can be a confusing set to pull together when it comes to flowers and the decor of your event. Eggplants, antiqued purples, creams, whites, and in some cases blacks are great colors that match sage green. There are a suprising amount of flowers that come in eggplant and sage green color tones, both tones that brides usually think they are limited on. Of course the variety of whites and creams is more extensive. Monkey tail (a leafy Carribean shrub) looks stunning airbrushed black and there are many other details that can be incorporated in difficult tones. There is a rose variety that is stunningly unique, its petals have a sage green tone and their centers have an aged light purple tone. This is one of my favorites for the sage color scheme and reminds me of classic romance look.
-Audrey O’Brien (of Studio Stems)

Floral Designer, Audrey O’Brien, operates Studio Stems. She has been a member of the UtahWeddings community for many years and provides wedding floral services throughout the state. To contact her, visit studiostems.com

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