Cory wrote:
We are a couple that wants a nice ceremony MINUS the religious undertones thatseem to come along with most officiants we have witnessed. Does anyone have any suggestions for a judge or non denominational minister that can perform an elegant ceremony and leave out the “time and all eternity?”

Hi Cory,
This is a great question, considering the religious climate in Utah. Most of the ceremonies that take place in the state include strong religious themes and references, and have structured ceremonies that include specific religious terminology. However, you will be hard pressed to find the phrase, “time and all eternity” used in many non-LDS ceremonies.

Keep in mind also that the ceremony is for you. If your family has reservations or objections to your approach, be sensitive but straightforward in telling them of your desires. This is a one-shot deal (fingers crossed), so make it as relative to you and your future spouse’s belief system as possible.

Rae Rae wrote:
I need help trying to find a color scheme. what colors go good with a sage green and dark brown?

Hi Rae Rae,
Earth tones and especially sage green have been popular color schemes in the recent months but can be a confusing set to pull together when it comes to flowers and the decor of your event. Eggplants, antiqued purples, creams, whites, and in some cases blacks are great colors that match sage green. There are a suprising amount of flowers that come in eggplant and sage green color tones, both tones that brides usually think they are limited on. Of course the variety of whites and creams is more extensive. Monkey tail (a leafy Carribean shrub) looks stunning airbrushed black and there are many other details that can be incorporated in difficult tones. There is a rose variety that is stunningly unique, its petals have a sage green tone and their centers have an aged light purple tone. This is one of my favorites for the sage color scheme and reminds me of classic romance look.
-Audrey O’Brien (of Studio Stems)

Floral Designer, Audrey O’Brien, operates Studio Stems. She has been a member of the UtahWeddings community for many years and provides wedding floral services throughout the state. To contact her, visit studiostems.com

2. Kaitlyn L. wrote:
My husband and I were married this last December. Well, my husband’s aunt is a photographer and for everyone’s wedding in his family she does the photography as a wedding present. I am very pleased with how all the pictures turned out, but she doesn’t do wedding albums. All of our pictures are just put into a picture book. One of my friends just got her wedding album back and it is beautiful. Each page was the picture or several pictures. Is there anywhere that I can get this done? Or am I going to just have to scrap book them myself?

Hi Kaitlyn,
It’s always nice when you have family members that are also photographers. Unfortunately, they might not have access to the same type of products that wedding-photography studios do. The album that your friend received is what we call a flush mount album and there are literally hundreds of companies that produce them, but the majority of them will only work with photographers.
Your best option would be to contact any photographer in your area to see if they would be willing to create a flush mount album for you - just like the one your friend had. If you try this option, be prepared to pay at least $1000 or more for a high quality album (plus design).
-Brody Dezember (of Brody Dezember Photography)

Brody Dezember owns and operates Brody Dezember Photography in Downtown Salt Lake City. His creative, yet playful approach to wedding photography has made him a popular choice along the Wasatch Front. His services are also often requested at weddings and events across the U.S.A.. To contact him, visit DezemberPhoto.com

1. Becky wrote:
How can I make an unmarried (and not happy about my wedding) sister feel involved and have a good time? Is there some kind of tradition or fun way to involve her?

It is very thoughtful of you to think about your sister, and to consider her needs and feelings as a factor in your wedding planning. People may often interpret an emotional family member as being jealous or distracting, when in fact those feelings are often a need to be involved. Your wedding is just one day, while your relationship with your sister is forever . You may want to assess the situation by asking her to take on small duties in the planning process. A day alone with her - going to lunch or a movie - may help you to understand her true feelings and figure out what part she could play in the bigger wedding picture.
Many brides give a sister the role of putting on a bridal shower or planning a pre-wedding night out with close girlfriends and family. It gives them a distraction from the actual wedding day, while keeping them involved in the special event. You may also want to assign your sister a role that capitalizes on one of her strengths. Perhaps a greeter at the wedding, a “personal shopper” for bridesmaids gifts, or assisting you in establishing a color theme for the actual day.
I would suggest creating your own traditions. Weddings rely heavily on traditions already. Create your own with your sister. It may have a huge impact on the relationship down the road.

1. Cindy C. wrote:
We are looking for places for a rehearsal dinner for our Son and his Bride for about 75 guests. Do you have a list of possible locations?

The best place to search for your perfect location would be in the Banquet & Reception Sites area on this web site. Most places that do receptions also do rehearsal dinners.

2. Annette wrote:
Rebecca, I was wondering about ring ceremonies. I am planning on doing one and then having a dinner. However, I have only been to one and am not familiar with how they should run. If you could give me a simple outline of how a ring ceremony should be, that would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

The main purpose of a ring ceremony is to help those close to you - that were not able to attend your wedding ceremony - feel a part of it. Most ceremonies are not very long. You will want some sort of officiator to preside over this. The officiator tells about the wedding ceremony that took place earlier and then the two of you exchange rings. Before deciding anything, I would first settle on who is going to be the officiator. It should be someone who attended the actual wedding. It can be a Bishop, Stake President, father, brother, uncle or anyone that you are close to. After this is decided, ask them what they feel is appropriate. They may have some guidelines. Some ask that you keep it simple and that you not try to reenact the actually ceremony, while some are okay with you doing this. You can go as formal as having an aisle way for attendants, flower girls, a ring bearer and having the father give away the Bride. Or you may want to keep it simple and have just the Bride & Groom come in together. Some have added special toasts, musical numbers and/or readings after you exchange rings, but most wedding parties transition right into the dinner or the event they are having.

3. Misty wrote:
Both of our families are prone to overloading the schedule, so we want to have our reception on a day other than the wedding day. How soon before/after the wedding day would you recommend having the reception? Are these receptions any less successful than the traditional reception on the day of the wedding?

Receptions that are held before a wedding have not been as comfortable for the couple. I find that couples are more relaxed if the reception is held on the day of the wedding or after. Waiting a week or two after your wedding day is just as successful as on the wedding day. But there are a few things to keep in mind. Think about family and friends that may be coming into town or missing work for the wedding. They may miss out on the reception if it is later. Though this day and time is about the two of you, it is also about your loved ones. They are just as excited and they want to celebrate with you. Also look at the budget. There will be things you may need to have twice such as a wedding bouquet, Boutonnières, other flowers, tuxedo rentals and cleaning of the wedding dress. Also keep in mind if you will be going on your honeymoon and then coming back for the reception. You will want to be extremely organized and ready before going. Otherwise it can feel just as overloaded as if it was on the day of the wedding.

1. Kristi wrote:
I was wondering, how is the best way to request money instead of gifts? I am getting married out of state and it would be too difficult to haul everything back.

Kristi, I have had several questions pertaining to how to request money instead of gifts. I have also been asked how to word having a money tree on your announcements. Though we all want money and gifts, we should not ask for them. There should be no mention of money or gifts on an invitation. Nor should there be any mention of where you are registered. You are inviting your guest to come to your wedding; you are not inviting them to bring you a gift. It’s okay to have a money tree at your reception and it’s definitely okay to register. Both are fun and both make it more convenient for those getting you a gift. However, where you are registered or if you prefer money or gifts should only be passed along by word of mouth.
2. Vickie wrote:
Is it ever really too soon to start planning your wedding?

It is never too soon to start planning your wedding day. You might find though that the things you currently love you may not be so fond of down the road. Trends are always changing, especially colors. The season in which you get married will also change how you do things. But why not get ideas and start looking around? There are so many options out there that starting early will give you a chance to really find what you love.
3. T. wrote:
What should I expect to pay for an event planner or an event decorator to decorate my wedding? What are the factors?

An event planner can save you a lot of money and save you a lot of valuable time. They know about the services out there and they know the people in the business. Most event planners will take a percentage of the total amount of the wedding as their pay. If you are having someone do only the or an decorating and not the planning, then they will either include their pay with what you are renting or they will have a per hour labor charge. It would be important to know up front what you want them to do for you, as this will determine the price. Having someone plan the whole event for you from start to finish will cost more than someone that will be doing just parts of it.

4. Erin wrote:
I am having a wedding in May and my colors are pink and brown. My fiancé wants to wear a tux instead of a suit. My family says that he cannot wear a black tux as it would clash with the brown. What other options are there. Do they make light brown tuxedos?

Hi Erin. They do make light brown and also chocolate brown tuxedos - I know Calvin Klein and Claiborne have both options. Another choice is to go with an Ivory (not white) Tuxedo and do a brown vest and tie. Both options would look excellent with your colors.

1. What is the difference between a wedding dinner and a wedding reception?

In some areas a dinner and a reception is considered the same thing, but in Utah most people do consider them to be different. It does not matter what you are actually serving at your event. The best rule to follow is that if you want everyone there at the same time, then you list one time on your invitation. This is considered a dinner. If you would like your guests to come and go, then you need to give them a block of time on the invitation. This is considered a reception.

When having a dinner you might not start eating right at the set time on the invitation, you might eat a little later. However, this way all your guests are arriving at the same time. The most important thing is to make sure your invitation is worded correctly. For a dinner an RSVP is expected and for a reception an RSVP is not expected.

2. Do you have to have a receiving line at a reception?

If you are inviting guests to come to a celebration in your honor, it is only appropriate to be available to greet them. A formal greeting line is not expected, but the Bride & Groom should have a designated area so guests know where to greet them. To be invited to an event and then not see the guests of honor is disrespectful. The parents are not expected to be next to the bride & groom in this area, nor the wedding party. This is optional. Sorry brides & grooms - part of having a reception is greeting those that come to pay honor to you. If you are not interested in having a line then you may want to consider having a dinner or smaller event where you still greet your guests. You have fewer to greet and so you have more time to do other things.

3. Who is in charge of paying for the wedding luncheon/rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally the parents of the groom take care of the rehearsal dinner or luncheon. In this area not as many people need a rehearsal the night before the wedding, so they opt to have a luncheon or breakfast either right before the ceremony or right after. The parents of the groom still take care of this event. Sometimes couples decided to combine the luncheon (or breakfast or dinner) and the reception, and do just one event. In this case the parents of both groom and bride share this expense. It does depend on what the parents offer to do for the couple. A lot of couples are also paying for their own wedding expenses.

The most important thing is to be sensitive to situations, know what the budget is and what is offered before deciding on what you are doing.

4. Do you need to have a wedding video?

Ask around. Couples that have a video from their wedding day have no regrets. As a memory that goes by so quickly, it is nice for the two of you to look back on this day. Having a professional videographer takes care of capturing the day for you - it is one of the best things you can do. A professional will tightly package the day for you and then you have it whenever you want it. I highly recommend budgeting this in to the plan.

5. How much does a wedding cake cost?

The average wedding cake in Utah costs about $450 - you can of course go lower or higher. Be mindful of the factors that can affect the cost of the cake. How many layers you want, what shape, what flavors, what you want on top and what kind of frosting. Picking out the wedding cake should be fun. With so many options out there pick something that reflects your personality. A good cake designer will help you do this; they will want to create something just for you.

6. What is some advice for the actually wedding day?

Relax and slow down. Things will happen that were not planned and it’s OK. Be flexible, so you can do what feels right in the moment. Do not over plan your day so much that you are worried more about “the schedule” then what is actually happening. Plan some down time so you can have a Coke, talk with an Aunt you never see, take in the faces of those that are there to celebrate with you and - above all - do not forget about your fiancé and spending sometime enjoying the day together. Remember what the day is all about to begin with. Be happy.